Sunday, 4 October 2009

I've been out too long.

I haven't been laying my head on the bunker bed for a few days. I've been out quite a lot lately, doing stuff that I love and slacking all around about town. I loved doing things I love to do, so to speak.

I didn't let myself to be on my own while I was out. I found comfort in one's company. I surround myself with people I adore and value them. I somehow felt that I've escaped reality and wandered on things I want to do with them.

But then, when I finally got back on my own, I begin to contemplate. I felt that the more I get exposed to these things I love, the more I start to realize that maybe -just maybe, music, songwriting, wanting a relationship -they're all just temporary.

I begin to question once more on the purpose of me being in Melbourne.. is this place a wake up call for reality?

Wednesday, 30 September 2009

Circles in my mind

I see myself as a struggling musician. Well at the moment it might be appropriate to say that.
I seriously want to get into songwriting and get the hang of it. So far in my life I've only finished 3 songs, and that was a few years ago.

Drafts? HUNDREDS of em! and yet i haven't been able to finish em all.
There's this thing about songwriting that seems to be driving me around in circles all the time.

This is what happens every time I attempted to make a song...

It started with a tune that I made in my head or out of random guitar playing, then I tried singing and putting random lyrics into it. I started feeling the song and then if I always have this tearing up feeling if i think the song's going to turn out good. Then IT STOPS. Right in the middle of developing it, I've always lost it. Whatever the reason maybe, mostly it's because i couldnt find the right lyrics and structure of the song, or the melody that i dont think it's catchy enough.

Ok, i know it's bad to judge a song even before it's even finished... because probably what i consider isn't catchy would prove to be a catchy tune for others.
But then again, how would I be able to finish a single song if I never feel good about em?
Another limiting belief perhaps. Another road block to be leaped for me. So far I just haven't been able to.

Any ideas on how to make you feel good about your own songs, let me know. Would definitely appreciate what you think of this...

On that note, I'm sharing you this line that I'm expanding on at the moment.

You're half of an item, but somehow I know you're worth my wait...
I know, I know..

Signing out,

Tuesday, 22 September 2009

That's the way this wheel keeps working.

I am a HUGE John Mayer fan.

Not the stalkish type though. The idolizing type would be appropriate.
The music, the guitar playing, the womanizer ways, he's freaking cool.

I have been listening to his music severely extensive ever since I bought his live at New York DVD entitled "Where The Light Is". Before, I stopped listening to him cos i thought that i was a bit narrow in terms of musical influence. Seriously, when I said SEVERELY extensive, i meant that i ONLY listened to him.

I find his bridges and pre choruses are always so intriguing to hear and a bit unusual. Especially in his Heavier Things album. The song 'Clarity' was the first Mayer tune that caught my ear. Heard it being played by my favorite local radio station back in the days. Put in on repeat for a few days after i downloaded it. Funny thing is, that wasnt the song that got me hooked into Mayer and guitar playing up until today. It was his previously released song that got me hooked, the acoustic version of 'Love Song For No One'.

And now i find myself in the same cycle again in this addiction to Mayer's music.
I've been putting 'Wheel', the last song in Heavier Things, on repeat for a few days now.
Well i've got to admit i had this song on repeat about a year ago. But that was because i only liked to listen to it.

As my skills as a, should I say, musician, have grown, i have now develop the habit of actually listening to the LYRICS while listening to the song.
A memorable quote from the Music and Lyrics says something like this..

Alex Fletcher: It doesn't have to be perfect. Just spit it out. They're just lyrics.
Sophie Fisher: "Just lyrics"?
Alex Fletcher: Lyrics are important. They're just not as important as melody.
Sophie Fisher: I really don't think you get it.
Alex Fletcher: Oh. You look angry. Click your pen.
Sophie Fisher: A melody is like seeing someone for the first time. The physical attraction. Sex.
Alex Fletcher: I so get that.
Sophie Fisher: But then, as you get to know the person, that's the lyrics. Their story. Who they are underneath. It's the combination of the two that makes it magical.

And that is just why i love this song.
On that note, here you go.

I believe that my life's gonna see.. the love I give returned to me

Wednesday, 26 August 2009


What have i gotten myself into lately?
Tempted by sour treats, expecting it to become a sweet one in the end.
But instead, only to find the the sourness until the very end.

To escape is an easy choice to make at fragile times like these.
Sweet escapes. Like taking in sugar while eating that sour treat.

I'll brace this. I sure can. It's only candies. 
What could possibly go wrong?
Possibly...everything on the line.
Suck it all in and do the work, man....

Signing out,

Monday, 24 August 2009

Mumbling to a new post.

It's been lightyears since I opened this thing. Heck posted shit on it.

A common reason for the negligence of the blog, simple. I forgot the stupid password.

Another reason for it, simply because I lost the urge to post stuff along the way.
Well yeah you know that we do sometimes get that sudden urge and drive to write about stuff inside our heads and just pour your hearts out. I was feeling lonely and didn't have that much stuff to do back in the early days of this blog.

Same reason goes to why I'm posting again, out of loneliness. *gosh do I sound that emo?
Except this time I've got too many things to handle and take care of. I've been tiring myself lately. Physically, mentally, and yeah.. Emotionally. Pretty much the stuffs that I got into have drained the life out of me.

Lots of things have come and gone for the past year since I last posted.
So much have changed, have grown. For better, or worse.

Will write again soon. Have to get used to writing stuff again I guess. My mind's running all over the place as I'm writing this. So many things to pour out of my system. Gah.


Thursday, 7 August 2008


Ok, so some of you might have noticed that I haven't been posting a lot since last month. I was even quite surprised when a looked at the shoutbox that someone is actually looking for my new posts. *and that would definitely get her in my blog links now hihi. thx Danica!

So you might wonder why didn't post any new ones lately.
Well, I've been doing stuff lately and got caught up with some of 'em every night.
First, dates with Inez. Her new string was marvelous and now i play for hours almost everyday at night yay! kewl!

Second, almost every night since the 4th of August, I had webcam chats with someone --which I very much enjoyed and loved. **update : on second taught, I won't talk about it that much.**

Third *and what i was doing at the point when this post was made* , damn HOMEWORK.
I won't say a lot regarding to this. Here are some photos.

*The clocks showed the time i started posting in the first clock, and the time i finished in the last photo.

and for your info...It's in AM.
I didn't sleep.

oops..have to prepare breakfast right now!